Sometimes, the problem is everyone feels misunderstood. And at the same damn time.
When the day has been long and anxiety ridden, and the night stretches long with more anxious moments ahead, you wonder, snap or ignore? The other person, is wondering the exact same thing. When you feel angry enough to not want to speak to anyone, the other person is probably debating the same thing: to vent or not.
I always remind myself that. And rush forward with the olive branch. And then get very angry when this is met with a less than completely amenable response.
Of course, it works better just to let things be. Until sanity and peace is restored. But, and it's a big but, it's so bloody hard to control yourself till then!
Friday, September 9, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Mistakes
There are some irredeemable mistakes you have to live with and no amount of crying, taking responsibility or drawing lessons from the experience can ease the pain.
These are the things you do which you can't forgive yourself for. And while I may wince at being bluntly judged by those whose opinions matter, my inner critic is working overtime. And that's the voice that truly hurts.
I am beginning to realize the importance of being tough and decisive. Being nice is not really a virtue, because what I thought it involved are in fact things I detest. So while you think you are being sensitive, you are actually shirking from something you know will be unpleasant for you. When you stay mum in situations that you should actually bulldoze into, you aren't being tactful and kind, you are escaping from a confrontation.
Diplomacy is not such a great thing after all, speaking up can shock people but will be much more effective. And brute force is equally necessary in order to correct what's going terribly wrong.
There have been so many instances when something wrong has happened right under my very nose and sometimes to people I truly care about. Even then, I have chosen to stay out of it.
I wish now, I wasn't quite so tactful and nice. I wish I had been really unpleasant, rude and in your face. I wish I had nagged, shouted, been offensive and made life miserable for the people in question until they actually did what they were trying to get out of. They might have hated me for the rest of their lives, which by the way, is always my biggest concern. But winning friends isn't half as important as doing the right thing. And unfortunately, these days, the two seem to be becoming more and more mutually exclusive.
I'll get off my soapbox now, and stop this brief and vague sermon. But the next time someone says something that really pisses you off, ask yourself why and you will realize, it's probably because it was the truth.
These are the things you do which you can't forgive yourself for. And while I may wince at being bluntly judged by those whose opinions matter, my inner critic is working overtime. And that's the voice that truly hurts.
I am beginning to realize the importance of being tough and decisive. Being nice is not really a virtue, because what I thought it involved are in fact things I detest. So while you think you are being sensitive, you are actually shirking from something you know will be unpleasant for you. When you stay mum in situations that you should actually bulldoze into, you aren't being tactful and kind, you are escaping from a confrontation.
Diplomacy is not such a great thing after all, speaking up can shock people but will be much more effective. And brute force is equally necessary in order to correct what's going terribly wrong.
There have been so many instances when something wrong has happened right under my very nose and sometimes to people I truly care about. Even then, I have chosen to stay out of it.
I wish now, I wasn't quite so tactful and nice. I wish I had been really unpleasant, rude and in your face. I wish I had nagged, shouted, been offensive and made life miserable for the people in question until they actually did what they were trying to get out of. They might have hated me for the rest of their lives, which by the way, is always my biggest concern. But winning friends isn't half as important as doing the right thing. And unfortunately, these days, the two seem to be becoming more and more mutually exclusive.
I'll get off my soapbox now, and stop this brief and vague sermon. But the next time someone says something that really pisses you off, ask yourself why and you will realize, it's probably because it was the truth.
"Love"
They fought until they were tired. He then said, I have nothing left to say to you.
He turned and walked away, but threw over his shoulder, Don't forget to set the alarm...I have a flight to catch.
And she muttered, Yes I know. I still have your goddamn suitcase to pack.
He turned and walked away, but threw over his shoulder, Don't forget to set the alarm...I have a flight to catch.
And she muttered, Yes I know. I still have your goddamn suitcase to pack.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Second Chance
Have you ever wondered whether you made the right choices/decisions in life? Or have you been blaming yourself over the decision you made few years back and regretted living the life at present. What will you do if you were given a chance to go back and re-live that life? Though it sounds absurd but there are some logic behind it.
When you realize that your life is a failure, you blame everyone, especially those around you. Those people close to you. However, you never take a good look at yourself. It is you who made that particular decision because you were once given a chance to choose and you have chosen. The path might not be as good as the other one but it does not mean that your life would be better by taking that road.
Will you re-live your life if you were given a chance? I believe the answer is yes. But you will soon realize that your present life is too precious to give away because every moment counts. Their impacts are such tremendous in a way you can never imagine. Your memories are your treasures. So, always keep them close to you. These memories of yours, your childhood, your birthdays, your parents, your love life - they do not come often and some, you can only experience it once in your lifetime.
For those parents out there, I believe this is part your experience, and nothing can be more precious than seeing your own flesh being born into this world.
"The first moment when you hold your baby, and you didn't know anything can be so small so delicate and you feel the tiny heartbeat, and you know that you couldn't love anything more than the whole world. And hope that you can do right and always be there to catch her/him when she/he falls and nothing ever hurts her/him - broken arms, bad dreams, broken heart. "
Quoted from "17 Again"
When you realize that your life is a failure, you blame everyone, especially those around you. Those people close to you. However, you never take a good look at yourself. It is you who made that particular decision because you were once given a chance to choose and you have chosen. The path might not be as good as the other one but it does not mean that your life would be better by taking that road.
Will you re-live your life if you were given a chance? I believe the answer is yes. But you will soon realize that your present life is too precious to give away because every moment counts. Their impacts are such tremendous in a way you can never imagine. Your memories are your treasures. So, always keep them close to you. These memories of yours, your childhood, your birthdays, your parents, your love life - they do not come often and some, you can only experience it once in your lifetime.
For those parents out there, I believe this is part your experience, and nothing can be more precious than seeing your own flesh being born into this world.
"The first moment when you hold your baby, and you didn't know anything can be so small so delicate and you feel the tiny heartbeat, and you know that you couldn't love anything more than the whole world. And hope that you can do right and always be there to catch her/him when she/he falls and nothing ever hurts her/him - broken arms, bad dreams, broken heart. "
Quoted from "17 Again"
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Why is it so hard to make a Decision?
Pondering about life once again
Why, oh why, do I have trouble making decisions sometimes? Minor, major decisions ...
One of the elements of being successful (whatever 'successful' means to you), involves the ability to make decisions, stick to them .... and to act upon them...
Yet I often procrastinate.
Do you?
Do decisions cause problems in your life?
Do you know why?
Once again, 'self-awareness' is important to help us overcome many of the challenges in our lives, including the simple, well... not so simple, process of making a decision, whether it be a minor or major decision ...
I am sure there are numerous reasons for decision-making problems, and I'm going to write about them ... this post is just a 'teaser' of sorts(!) - lol.....
But I have figured out one important thing -
Why can Decision-Making be so Hard?
Because sometimes - making that decision - means closing off other options.
Its a 'finality' of sorts ...
It may mean that other exciting goals have to be put to the side.
Thus, with a decision - a way forwards is opened.....
At the same time, another way is closed.
Life is a journey - step by step - each decision we make can be a small or large step within that journey. One decision can be a turning point in our lives .... Thus, what if we make the wrong decision!?
Obviously, this can lead to fear .... and we freeze. A decision is not made, or procrastination rears its ugly head...
Yes - I think that is one of the reasons why decision-making can be difficult - fear.
Fear of closing a door.
Fear that we may not be making the right decision.
Fear that we may not be able to change that decision if its the wrong one.
Our frequent companion in life - fear.
But one of the most important ways of overcoming and facing our fears, is understanding them - what those fears are, how important they 'really' are, ... and to be aware of ourselves, and our thinking processes.
Perhaps, in understanding this, and knowing why we sometimes have issues with making decisions ... we can overcome this fear .... next time we need to make a major decision.
Fear can be overcome - 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway' as they say.
Who knows what's around the corner
Change is a guaranteed part of life - so, if its not right - if a decision doesn't feel right - we can try to change it.
Believe in yourself, trust your instincts, understand your fears and go forth ....! Have Courage ....
Take courage, and make those decisions... :-)
And on a more positive note - if we can carry through on a decision made, act, and accomplish it, then perhaps, we can find the time to follow through on the other options, which were closed in that first decision process.
And a decision doesn't necessarily have to be final - another key element of success is 'flexibility'
Its just a matter of finding some sort of balance.
Until next time ....
Take care and be kind with yourselves :-)
Why, oh why, do I have trouble making decisions sometimes? Minor, major decisions ...
One of the elements of being successful (whatever 'successful' means to you), involves the ability to make decisions, stick to them .... and to act upon them...
Yet I often procrastinate.
Do you?
Do decisions cause problems in your life?
Do you know why?
Once again, 'self-awareness' is important to help us overcome many of the challenges in our lives, including the simple, well... not so simple, process of making a decision, whether it be a minor or major decision ...
I am sure there are numerous reasons for decision-making problems, and I'm going to write about them ... this post is just a 'teaser' of sorts(!) - lol.....
But I have figured out one important thing -
Why can Decision-Making be so Hard?
Because sometimes - making that decision - means closing off other options.
Its a 'finality' of sorts ...
It may mean that other exciting goals have to be put to the side.
Thus, with a decision - a way forwards is opened.....
At the same time, another way is closed.
Life is a journey - step by step - each decision we make can be a small or large step within that journey. One decision can be a turning point in our lives .... Thus, what if we make the wrong decision!?
Obviously, this can lead to fear .... and we freeze. A decision is not made, or procrastination rears its ugly head...
Yes - I think that is one of the reasons why decision-making can be difficult - fear.
Fear of closing a door.
Fear that we may not be making the right decision.
Fear that we may not be able to change that decision if its the wrong one.
Our frequent companion in life - fear.
But one of the most important ways of overcoming and facing our fears, is understanding them - what those fears are, how important they 'really' are, ... and to be aware of ourselves, and our thinking processes.
Perhaps, in understanding this, and knowing why we sometimes have issues with making decisions ... we can overcome this fear .... next time we need to make a major decision.
Fear can be overcome - 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway' as they say.
Who knows what's around the corner
Change is a guaranteed part of life - so, if its not right - if a decision doesn't feel right - we can try to change it.
Believe in yourself, trust your instincts, understand your fears and go forth ....! Have Courage ....
Take courage, and make those decisions... :-)
And on a more positive note - if we can carry through on a decision made, act, and accomplish it, then perhaps, we can find the time to follow through on the other options, which were closed in that first decision process.
And a decision doesn't necessarily have to be final - another key element of success is 'flexibility'
Its just a matter of finding some sort of balance.
Until next time ....
Take care and be kind with yourselves :-)
Letting Go
It's a miracle how people can let go of things they fond of - be it a relationship or things they really treasure. How life can be so ironic when they actually fell in love at first sight; and tomorrow it turns sour.
What could be the catalyst?
What is the reason behind the shift of events?
Nobody actually knows.
There could be millions of reasons behind a single event. Perhaps, it just happens to be a coincidence. Perhaps, it is the nature of human being. Or perhaps, it is fate.
The illogical sense of humanity just do not fit in the picture anymore.
What the reality brings is not about the truth but the feelings. "Within a soul, what matters is how you feel for them and not how they feel for you." As much as we are denying this fact, it slowly finds it way into the 'truth' for humanity. Contradicting but to be exact, it just happens.
People always say that, "Life is about letting go." But what is there to let go, when you already let go in the first place. There is no meaning to the phrase. If it is that easy to let go, then you can see how meaningless it could be. In fact, letting go is the hardest things in life. No matter how much I hold back, tears will always be there.
What could be the catalyst?
What is the reason behind the shift of events?
Nobody actually knows.
There could be millions of reasons behind a single event. Perhaps, it just happens to be a coincidence. Perhaps, it is the nature of human being. Or perhaps, it is fate.
The illogical sense of humanity just do not fit in the picture anymore.
What the reality brings is not about the truth but the feelings. "Within a soul, what matters is how you feel for them and not how they feel for you." As much as we are denying this fact, it slowly finds it way into the 'truth' for humanity. Contradicting but to be exact, it just happens.
People always say that, "Life is about letting go." But what is there to let go, when you already let go in the first place. There is no meaning to the phrase. If it is that easy to let go, then you can see how meaningless it could be. In fact, letting go is the hardest things in life. No matter how much I hold back, tears will always be there.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Is it me???
Part of the reason that I haven't blogged in a long time is my silent judgement of blogs, and of myself. Who am I to put my heart and innermost thoughts online without a care of who they will affect? I have tried to not hurt anyone with my words and to take everything back to myself but maybe that's an impossibility. Maybe.
I have obviously felt that sting from another. And I judge it. And it really sucks. So much that I have to apologize to any person, for any feeling that I've not brought back to myself. Integrity is a word that I've given much thought to in the past few months. The depth of the word of course includes honesty, but it goes much further. When I use it in the context of myself, when I ask for integrity in my life I am asking for all of my actions, feelings, and maybe someday thoughts to align with who I really am - the me that knows her purpose and can stand in it even if it is alone. I'm not really sure where I'm going with these seemingly unconnected thoughts.
I have a lot of judgement on myself and it's embarrassing.That might be true,
that might be a part of me - but is that really it? God, I hope not. Maybe I just need to be more curious.
I have obviously felt that sting from another. And I judge it. And it really sucks. So much that I have to apologize to any person, for any feeling that I've not brought back to myself. Integrity is a word that I've given much thought to in the past few months. The depth of the word of course includes honesty, but it goes much further. When I use it in the context of myself, when I ask for integrity in my life I am asking for all of my actions, feelings, and maybe someday thoughts to align with who I really am - the me that knows her purpose and can stand in it even if it is alone. I'm not really sure where I'm going with these seemingly unconnected thoughts.
I have a lot of judgement on myself and it's embarrassing.That might be true,
that might be a part of me - but is that really it? God, I hope not. Maybe I just need to be more curious.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
AtTitUDe....
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a temple... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Anywhere Is....
I walk a maze of moments
but anywhere I turn to
begins a new beginning
but nevers finds a finish
I walk to the horizon
and there I find another
it all seems so surprising
and then I find that I know
You go there you're gone forever
I go there I'll lose my way
if we stay here we're not together
Anywhere Is
The moon upon the ocean
is swept around in motion
but without ever knowing
the reason for its flowing
in motion on the ocean
the moon still keeps on moving
the waves still keep on waving
and I still keep on going
You go there you're gone forever
I go there I'll lose my way
if we stay here we're not together
Anywhere Is
I wonder if the stars sign
the life that is to be mine
and would they let their light shine
enough for me to follow
I look up to the heavens
but night has clouded over
no spark of constellation
no Vela no Orion
The shells upon the warm sands
have taken from their own lands
the echo of their story
but all I hear are low sounds
as pillow words are weaving
and willow waves are leaving
but should I be believing
that I am only dreaming
You go there you're gone forever
I go there I'll lose my way
if we stay here we're not together
Anywhere Is
To leave the thread of all time
and let it make a dark line
in hopes that I can still find
the way back to the moment
I took the turn and turned to
begin a new beginning
still looking for the answer
I cannot find the finish
it's either this or that way
it's one way or the other
it should be one direction
it could be on reflection
the turn I have just taken
the turn that I was making
I might be just beginning
I might be near the end
(lyrics are obviously not by me)
So beautiful. So natural. So inspiring. I hope everyone can find some music that is as inspiring as this one is to me.
but anywhere I turn to
begins a new beginning
but nevers finds a finish
I walk to the horizon
and there I find another
it all seems so surprising
and then I find that I know
You go there you're gone forever
I go there I'll lose my way
if we stay here we're not together
Anywhere Is
The moon upon the ocean
is swept around in motion
but without ever knowing
the reason for its flowing
in motion on the ocean
the moon still keeps on moving
the waves still keep on waving
and I still keep on going
You go there you're gone forever
I go there I'll lose my way
if we stay here we're not together
Anywhere Is
I wonder if the stars sign
the life that is to be mine
and would they let their light shine
enough for me to follow
I look up to the heavens
but night has clouded over
no spark of constellation
no Vela no Orion
The shells upon the warm sands
have taken from their own lands
the echo of their story
but all I hear are low sounds
as pillow words are weaving
and willow waves are leaving
but should I be believing
that I am only dreaming
You go there you're gone forever
I go there I'll lose my way
if we stay here we're not together
Anywhere Is
To leave the thread of all time
and let it make a dark line
in hopes that I can still find
the way back to the moment
I took the turn and turned to
begin a new beginning
still looking for the answer
I cannot find the finish
it's either this or that way
it's one way or the other
it should be one direction
it could be on reflection
the turn I have just taken
the turn that I was making
I might be just beginning
I might be near the end
(lyrics are obviously not by me)
So beautiful. So natural. So inspiring. I hope everyone can find some music that is as inspiring as this one is to me.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Ohh Emm Geee...
Life is kinda not easy especially when you are supposed to study for exams but the mood is actually ready for….
What i have planned on my study timetable is actually.. crap.
It's just to alert myself how much time i still got.
Can anyone tell me what's the best way to concentrate on study without doing things other than study for exams?
Even my eyes is looking at the book but my brain isn't in function at all!
Oh shit I should be studying MIS right now!! Damn i love my laptop.
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